why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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