That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The feeling are messing with the penis
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
