Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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