I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
