dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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