dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
