ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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