just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize