Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
