I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
