Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
