What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
