matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
