well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
