they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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