You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So vagazzling was a success
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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