before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
