how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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