i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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