Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
