I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
