I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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