i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
