i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We are two peas in an std pod
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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