Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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