Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
