The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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