u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
