honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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