I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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