It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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