Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
