There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize