I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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