i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize