Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
