My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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