the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
