Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
