we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
