I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
