Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
