i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
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