She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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