I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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