are you still at the devil's house?
i think my tv is drunk
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
