May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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