you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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