you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
