The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So many bounce houses so little time
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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