how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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