You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
