Im at strip club and am horny
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize