ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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