If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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