It's like God shit irony all over that family
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
