So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
