she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Rumble strips road head = magical
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
