why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
