I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
