okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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